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[03 Aug 2006|12:52pm] |
i just quit my job
got my financial aid increased so i wont need money
and i spent 400 dollars on clothes
all because some bitch jumped a curb
and crashed into my house
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[12 Jul 2006|08:49pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed with life |
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so my grandfather had heart surgery again and its not going well
and he called me today to say that he looks forward to seeing me at samantha's wedding
and that he heard i was going to visit friends but that if i didnt come he would see it as a "disgrace" to the family.
so now im stuck. cancel on rak and cass or disapoint my pepa?
ahh! fuck!
why is my life so fuckin difficult!?
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[06 Jul 2006|05:46am] |
um. horrible day at work and i might be fired over it.
some woman wanted to pay for her gas with a bag of change and i told her i couldn't because it wasn't rolled, she got upset. i put her on the other line where bernard took her, and then she went off on me telling me to "take my ass home" and not take my bad attitude out on customers. then she went across the street and told people that i told her she could take her change to a laundry mat, which is not what i said.
anyway. that was how i ended my first triple. oh yea. i worked a tripple, which is three shifts in a row. 24 straight hours.
then someone told me to go back to puerto rico and i was like huh? and they were like "habla english?" like really weird and i was angry. grace's response was "they thought you were a bodiqua!" hahahaha
thats gonna be in my movie.
grace flattened a tire and the car wont start so that has to be solved.
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| crack in the stone finish |
[03 Jul 2006|01:17pm] |
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music |
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nelly furtado - promiscious girl |
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im suprised with how much i actually did do today.
and its only 1:17pm
i got my hair cut, and it looks fabulous
i washed the walls in the living room
i weeded the yard and watered the plants
i finished cooking and seperated my meals
and i went to the gym for an hour and a half...
i have lost, in the last few days, only .5 pounds
i can only guess (hope) that im gaining muscle
which is off-setting my fat loss - my arms do look better
but oh well, hmm...what else to say
i am going to clean off my work shoes, find a pair of socks, and then go deal with crack heads and rich assholes for the next eight hours. if i work second register i can go out and smoke when i want, but i have to empty trash cans and shit - if i work second register i cant just up and LEAVE the register area and i have to do lottery, which i fuckin hate
i think second register wins.
so i am going to pack up my food for the day,
i get to eat today at 4, 6, 10, and 1:30am
just in case anyone was wondering what my feeding times were
i drove today, it was great
im just reminded how much of a better driver i am then grace
it was amazing to actually drive in the lanes, plus i always loved driving
i assume they have a warrant out against me for those unpaid tickets
but i really could give two shits right about now
22 days until philly and nyc
excited.am.i.
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| 7am high off uppers |
[03 Jul 2006|07:17am] |
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mood |
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 HIGH |
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music |
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madonna - sorry |
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the thing about adderall is that if you don't have ADHD its like cocaine. I know this because the manager of the Deli at Sphinx used to be a coke head, and i slipped her an adderall to her thru a double and she said it was exactly like cocaine. i take her word for it.
its 7am, ive been up since 3am. stupid animal planet and infomercials had me hooked. now i ran to pay the gas bill, im pulling out the washing machine as we are FINALLY getting a new one. and im cooking my meals for the day. three sets of baked chicken, green beans, broccoli, and some steamed rice. god. this diet sucks. but i broke it hardcore this weekend with a few milky ways and some soda, so im back on this shit.
i will be buff. i will be buff. i will be buff.
mantra time!
so i have to cook that shit, seperate it, then store it for work today at 2pm. i gotta do the washer thing. i gotta finish washing the living room walls then i am done with the whole slave bit of my life. i have to mow the lawn. weed around the bushes. lay the mulch down and get the other two solar lights to work. i have to go to the gym. i have to call and make sure christi is working so i can get my hair cut. and i have to go to work from 2pm til 10pm.
yeah. most of that isnt going to happen.
i saw my niece today. she is gorgeous (as i would guess she would be with my genes in her). my daddy is staying with my Aunt Mae and I feel like I should get his number and call him and say....something. its been like 8 years, and i am not sure what i would say. maybe meet him for coffee or something (does he drink coffee?) and just give him a life update. i dont owe him shit, but as you get older you want to know where you come from and i need him to know that.
ill talk to my half-sister stephanie and ask her the number. ill do that sometime today.
ok. to work.
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| no gym, hurt arms |
[01 Jul 2006|03:45am] |
ahh! my arms are killing me. I didnt go to work today, I was in so much pain. I just slept all day and then got up. This diet thing is not working. I want to quit soo much. Today I relapsed and ate some McDonalds. I needed some real food after four days of just bullshit bland crap. but I am picking it up again tomorrow, and going to the gym when I wake up.
I cant afford to not do this. I have to work thru this shit, I have to keep going. If not for anyone else then for myself. I will burn off the calories from tonights relapse and then keep going tomorrow.
I cant move my arms up or to my sides directly. They are just permanantly curved it seems. Def. not a good thing. Hopefully tomorrow it will be better and I can go about my life. I am going to wake up, go to the gym, come home and shower, then clean my ass off until its time for me to go to work.
I had my mother call in sick, so I might need a doctor's note, so I might end up going to St. Francis and faking sick so I can get an excuse. Which will be slightly horrible but I dont give a shit. Its not like I havent done it before. Gah!
Okay, I must sleep.
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| Working Out and Other Shit |
[30 Jun 2006|06:33am] |
This diet thing is killing me. I broke down last night at work and had a swig of some slushie. I immediatly threw the cup away and drank some water. But then, when I was eating my chicken that I brought from home, I had some potatoe wedges with it. I needed to potatoes, (Carbs), but I'm sure as hell it had salt in it and to hear Cecil talk you would think sodium caused immediate death.
Work out was killed. I struggled like a bitch on the pull ups, I stuggled like a bitch on the abb-kick things. But I did pretty well on the back press and the bicep curls - which are all pluses in my book.
I just got off work at 6am and now I am cooking my food for the day. I am cooking green beans and broccoli for my green veggies, and rice for my carbs. I can't eat anymore plain potatoes, I just can't. It makes me sick to my damn stomache to think about it. I am also baking three pieces of chicken for the three meals I am allowed with protein.
The problem is that I go back to work at 2pm today (I know, killer schedule) so I am going to be eating my 4pm, 6pm, and 10pm meals at work. Which is gonna me awkward, plus - the deli always has really amazing things to eat during the day. Its hard being in a convenience store and NOT being able to just grab a candy bar and pig out. Oh well.
I just realized I am going to have to hussle to go to the gym today. I get off work at 10 and the gym closes on Fridays at midnight. So I am going to have to take my work out clothes with me, change after my shift ends, and go straight to the gym for my work out. I need to get in 45 minutes of cardio and then work those damn weight machines. I won't be embarassed next time I have to do those damn pull-ups.
Good lord, okay. So I'm waiting on my rice to finish cooking so I can put that in a container and into the fridge. The chicken won't be ready until 7:30 or so, which gives me time to just mull around and thing. Then I will put that up and in the fridge. Then I can take my tired/sore ass to bed until noon-1ish.
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[17 Sep 2005|10:29am] |
Everyone was so suprised when I didn't win.
What makes me sad is that Cassie and Keiko weren't really there for me afterwards.
Like, they went to Wayland party and came back right when the names were read, and I had to have Adam cradeling me when they read the results. I nearly fuckin collapsed. I needed Cassie and Keiko to like, be there for me. That's why I'm not sure this whole Untouchable thing is working out - since none of us win anything and I don't feel as if I get the same support that I try and give out to them. Whatever.
I am completely lost as to what I am going to do now. I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.
I am lost.
I almost broke down crying on the phone with my mother/sister and my mom was like "Get on a plane and come home" and I almost wanted to. I really did. UCS - its what I really wanted, and I really tried, and I don't understand how it wouldn't happen - why it couldn't happen.
It makes me sick to my stomache. I can hardly breathe.
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[04 Jul 2005|01:15am] |
i always found women especially easy to
meld and mold into any shape because of their
nature to please and to be pleased but you
were different - a challenge - and i accepted
you, it, the challenge because for the first time
i sensed something different.
so we circled each other in a game of chicken -
waiting to see who would blink first or give first
or bow down first and by playing the game we
only wasted time and for the first time i saw
that my game was wasted on someone as skilled
and as broken as you.
so i blinked and the roles reversed and now i
was the one being molded and melded into what you
wanted and i was the snake being charmed and you were
the master using my natural moves and rhythyms to
your advantage and i knew in an instand that
the spanish where right.
para matar a una serpiente,
usted no corta a cabeza,
usted debe cortar el corazón.
is the spanish right above?
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| Getting Supplies |
[24 Jun 2005|01:22pm] |
I went to BBAB - Bed, Bath, and Beyong - and bought some Dorm stuff. Grace wasn't happy for whatever reason - but I was glad that the car was fixed and I could finally get out of the house and go and do. The power steering is working a lot better also - so that is a definate plus! I went and I bought an Iron and and Ironing Board, Comforter and Sheets, Pillows and Pillow Cases, some laundry baskets that collapse or whatever and a clock. I also bought a filling folder system thing at Wal-Mart for storing papers or whatever and a shower caddy and razor.
I'm so excited!
Next stage: storage units and electronics!
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| Brownie News |
[13 Jun 2005|11:46pm] |
I come bearing news!
I wrote to one of the really cool admissions officers that I met at ADOCH and asked him so of our questions and here are my qyeanswers:
Is it okay that I only chosen four CAP courses
I imagine that you are fine with having chosen 4 of the 67 available CAP courses. Remember, however, that you'll only be placed in one CAP course ultimately, so you need to still need to pre-register for 4 more courses. And on that note, let me add this: you should not ultimately enroll in more than 4 courses in your first semester, but you should definitely pre-register for 5, just so you'll have 5 courses into which you are guaranteed entrance.
Can I choose where I want to live, or request a place?"
In terms of living arrangements, my experience is that it's pretty difficult to request the dorm that you're placed in as a first year. The Dept. of Residential Life is loathe to respond to students' housing requests only because they don't want to establish a precedent of giving in to the loudest customer.
When will I get my e-mail address?
As far as I know, freshman email accounts are assigned at the end of June. Sometime around the end of this month you ought to be receiving another packet from the Registrar's Office that includes, among other things, information on how to sign up for your email account. Once you have your Brown account you ought to be able to access it remotely from home by using web mail. You'll also be able to use your Brown account to gain access to member-only web sites like thefacebook.com (a time-wasting staple of modern campus life).
I hope that everyone benefits from this:
Also, if you are one of the five people from South Carolina who got accepted into Brown - let me know I wanna talk to my fellow Carolinians before we get to Brown.
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| ADOCH and Third World Stuff |
[21 Apr 2005|06:36pm] |
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My First Time In An Airplane:
I can't believe at 18 I had never been in an airplane. I get to GSP and I check my bag and I just end up waiting for a while with my cousin Sara for them to start the boarding process. Right when I was almost at security the TV at the bar started blaring that we had a new pope! I saw the white smoke and people at the bar were excited and I was SO excited. I almost missed my plane because I wanted to stay and see who it was going to be. But I went on the plane. The plane was very small and very rinky-dink. I sat on an aisle of only one seats and I watched out the window. It was a lot like an elevator and I ended up very exicited. I landed in Charlotte in like 45 mins and went to my gate and got on another plane to take me to Providence. That was a much nicer plane and the woman beside me was very very cool.
She was about 45 or so and she was a registered nurse. She was going to see her mom who was very sick. Well, I was about to listen to the Films CD that I had brought along when she offered me one of her mixed CDs. I expected some old music, but this woman was listening to Magic Stick and Bring Um Out - she even had Jessie McCartney and Destiney's Child. I was in heaven. We hit some turbulance and she knocked her whole soda on her lap. It was aite, she laughed at herself and it was all cool. I managed to get through the airport and claim my bag. But, in order for me to get to campus, I had to take the shuttle that left at 4. My plane landed at 3:45. I caught the shuttle with about 30 seconds to spare. Very cool.
The only interesting part about flying home was the fact that I had to sit next to the Emergency Door, and the woman from Charlotte to GSP didn't believe I would TRULY help people if push came to shove (and she was right) so she kept asking me if I wanted her to find me another seat. She kept asking how old I was and if I could lift 25 lbs or not. The bitch was annoying.
Things Are Different in the North than Here.
Everytime I needed help or wanted someone to show me where to go, or let me use their cell phone, or let me cut in the security line - all I had to do was take on a deep southern accent and they would let me do whatever. I walked up to this one woman and dropped the accent and she took me all the way to my gate. Another time a stewardess gave me extra soda and a window seat near the door. Just try it next time you got north. Also, they don't have sweet tea - which no one told me. On Thayer street (which is like out downtown) they had a specialty tea store where they like flew in tea from the South of Asia - but they couldn't add sugar to a fucking cup. Very odd.
Attending Class
Zaidman definatly paid off in my "Sex, Love, and Race" class that I went to. They showed us the end of this film - where two babies (one mexican and the other white) were in a playpin together. The teacher asked what it meant and no one had any clue. So I just rose my hand and I talked about the play pin as a microcosm meant to personify the earth and how the babies were really just symbols of the racial tolerance that God wants us to achieve (I mentioned how Babies are more holy and closer to God because they are closer to Heaven) and everyone in the class like turned and looked at me like "how does a person that doesn't even go here know all that?" It was very cool.
I also went to Hieroglyphics class where the guy spoke Egyptian and was decoding symbols. I then hit up the European History class (Court, it was soo cool!) and that was amazing. I went to Urban Outfitter and bought some very kick ass sunglasses.
Friends
The first day I made about 100 friends. A picture of my group of new friends (who actually act a lot like people I already knew) was put in the Brown Daily Herald on the front page. Everyone knew who I was and everywhere I went was at least 10 people that I knew - so I was never lonely. We went downtown and looked for parties together. We cheered eachother on at beer pong and met up for coffee before morning classes. I met a good base group of friends that I can see will be some of my best friends for the next 4 years. They will never be half as good as the friends I have right now - but no one could ever match up to yall!
Sex and Drinking
I was in Unit 6 and the first thing that was said to us was this "If you are going to have sex please make sure that it is consenual and that you use a condom and/or a dental damn. When you drink, please don't drink in the hallways." And then they let us go.
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| First Entry of My College Life |
[14 Apr 2005|01:47pm] |
Howdy!
My friends are tired of me talking about Brown non-stop, so I decided to just create a livejournal where I could go and vent and chat it up with other "Brownies".
My name is Stefan Smith and I am a senior at Greenville High School in South Carolina. I am going to Brown as a member of the class of 2009 (whoo!).
I enjoy entertainment: books, writing, art, movies, music...etc!
I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends.
I am alo biracial, just to go ahead and put that out there.
My AIM is Stefan221 if you want to talk.
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